That one parent.

Laila and I went to the park yesterday. It was so nice out. A cool breeze and sunshine were our pals for the day. We collected leaves and saved a big fat yellow caterpillar from some other toddlers that were playing. I was sitting there, soaking it all in. I noticed a cute little boy playing all by himself. His mother was lost in her cell phone. I even saw her take a few "selfies".

"Mommy! Watch me!," he would yell to her over and over, and not once did she look up from her phone. She would just mumble "Oh wow," or "Good Job!", under her breath as she obsessively scrolled her feed. The little boy looked sad and unhappy every time he would think he got her attention, just to find she was staring at her phone.

She sat next to me on the bench. I couldn't help but glance over at her phone to see what could be more important than watching her beautiful boy play. Facebook. She was scrolling feeds. I always try my hardest not to be a judgmental person. I am human, though.
  
Laila wanted to swing, so we started to swing. The little boy followed us over to the swing set and called for his mom to swing him. After about 5 minutes, she wandered over, never looking up. She pushed him one time, still scrolling somehow (mad skills yo)..and then his swing lost momentum and he asked her to push him again. She didn't even notice he had spoken to her. She walked back over to the bench, while the little boy just sat on the swing, trying to get it to go by himself. I wanted to push him so badly. She called for him to leave a few minutes later. Not even making sure he looked both ways before crossing the street. I felt sad.

I've seen this many times before, mommy and daddy in cell phone land, while their children desperately call for their attention. Kids aren't stupid. They know when you are actually watching and listening. These moments in time are so brief and fleeting. Why anyone would choose following other individual's moments while losing site of their own is beyond me. I know this mother may have just been "caught up" in the moment...but her little boy was there at the park to be with his mom...and she couldn't even give him that. I hope at home she plays in the floor with him, that she chases him and builds forts.

I am that mom...in the moment with my child..soaking in her innocence and silliness. I want to remember these days forever. They will be over with soon. For now, she is my baby. These days I make less time for friends and more time for family. It doesn't drive me crazy...it makes me happy. Some days I do have to go in to another room and breath deeply, or take a long shower and empty my mind. When I signed up for parenthood, I didn't pretend it would be perfect. Being a parent is a selfless act and I know this.

There will always be "me time" when my children are grown and gone. For now, I am in this moment with my family. Being the mother I signed up to be.